


Thoughts before the next session

by DarkCaller



Category: Shadowrun, shadowrun 5e
Genre: Character Thoughts, Gen, Inner Dialogue, drones, rigger - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:08:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25813321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkCaller/pseuds/DarkCaller
Summary: Haze wasn't used to this. She had to think about this. She doesn't want to think about this...A very short story about my rigger Haze and the thoughts shes had about her team the night before the party decides to lay low.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3





	Thoughts before the next session

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first Shadowrun character and I have been struggling with developing her. Sadly the campaign ended after only a few sessions, so this is as far as her development got. I might play with her anyway and develop her better as a character, but i don't see that happening.

She scowled at the package on her doorstep. She didn’t like it- this place was hard to find if you were looking for it, and impossible to remember if you found it by accident. That’s why Haze decided to squat here. The warehouse was unnoticeable, yet this Mr. Johnson shes started to work for knew where it was. This isn’t the first time he left her something- it would normally be a briefcase with the cred sticks that were her pay. This time she wasn’t sure what it was. _Pay, obviously_ , but it wasn’t cred sticks. With a huff she grabbed the package, unlocked the personnel only door, and directed Capricorn on inside first. The bike rolled happily over to her nest- a mattress set up on a few pallets with sanded down plywood surrounding it, keeping the pillows and blankets in and anything that went bump in the night out- before leaning against it. The package is placed on her work table.

Haze was bored, so she started some music-

_”You’ll get used to it.”_ she had said to Mahk when she noticed his unease.

_”I’m sorry, were you the one who killed dozens of people in a fiery inferno?”_ Matuna had exclaimed.

-and then she sighs and turns it off.

She didn’t remind them they shot a man’s leg off or smashed a guy’s head with an axe because they were freaking out and scared. Shes been there- still goes there- and she knows the comment would not help. She isn’t sure about what to do with her hands. With her feet. Its too quiet but she can’t play her calming playlist. This isn’t her normal anxiousness. She sticks her hands in her pockets and starts to pace. She calls The Swarm out of her jacket and parks them on their rack when she passes it. She looks up and stares at The Calvary on their rack. There’s a scuff on one from Mr. Johnson standing on it. With a motion of her hand the girl calls the roto-drone down. She holds it for a moment, not really doing anything, just… holding the drone. A moment later she takes a rag and gets to buffing it. At one point this one was white. Its now a light grey with bits of silver where the paint is chipped. _Chip_ she thinks as she sets it down on the work table to admire her work. He’ll never shine like new, but now he doesn’t look like someone stepped on him and road him like a glorified hover board. She does the same to the others. Checks their snipers. buffs out those too.

Its late and she should go to bed when shes done with the last drone and puts them all up on the rack. Haze slings the jacket off and tosses it over Capricorn like a blanket. The shoes are kicked off and she debates the pants before noticing she doesn’t have a fresh pair to sleep in. The brunette steps up into the nest and flops backward into the pillows and covers.

Haze has a lot to think about. Now that shes on a team and no longer jumping from gig to gig she has people she can trust. Which means there are people who will trust her. Shes okay with having a few chummers but at the same time she knows friendship, trust, and Being on a Team are all two-way streets. Being on a team means everyone has to trust each other. And you build trust by telling the truth. Most people do that by asking and answering questions.

Asking questions is okay. No Big Deal. _Answering_ questions is not okay. Very Big Deal.

Haze is young and she doesn’t know much. If anything, the only thing she knows is to trust her paranoia rather than brush it off or ignore it. Paranoia is how she found this safe house, is how she knows the lofts above her are secure and stable, and is how shes survived this long. It eats away at her when she ignores it but guides her when she listens. Right now the scenarios are playing in her mind and the paranoia paces, waiting for her to say otherwise to it’s sound judgment.

Now that she is on the team, they’ll ask questions-“where do you live Haze?”, “Why are you skittish about cars, Haze?”- and if she doesn’t answer them then they can’t trust her or they’ll ask _more_ questions –“Why won’t you talk to us?”- and then she won’t be on the team. Or they’ll keep her on and just not trust her, just not get close to her. She doesn’t know if she’ll be okay with that-

_”Good choice Haze!”_ Mahk smiles as he takes another bite of the burger.

-She isn’t okay with that. She wants to be their friend. She wants friends. She never really had friends. The closest thing to “friends” she still has is some mook in the mafia who told her “Go here, go there, pick up this, pick up that, drop off this, drop off that” and a street doctor who had an attitude the moment she had paid off her debt and wasn’t going to gopher for him for free anymore. But if she can’t answer their questions, they’ll get suspicious. Or worse- what if she _has_ to answer them? like… What if something happens –“Haze, we need someplace to stay, is your place safe?”, “Haze! Take the wheel!”- and she has to act instead of speak? That… won’t be so bad. But what if they get used to it? If she lets them in the safe house once and then denies them access –“Hey Haze, can we hang out at your place?”- or are just being nice –“Hey Haze, want to drive for a while?”- how is she going to handle that? She doesn’t want to lie. But not answering is kind of lying. “Lie by omission”.

She could run away like she always does. Leave before people start being friendly and people start asking questions-

_”it’s a joke, Hoodah.”_ the orc tries to hide his laugh.

_”Well tell me it!”_ The troll seemed rather annoyed.

_”Its “Nunya business””_

_”Fine don’t tell me the joke!”_

-But that’s how you make friends. You ask questions. How are you? How did you sleep? Seen the latest movie? Want to hang out? Why couldn’t she just drift off to the next gig like normal? Why did she end up on a team? And why’d she have to be the third wheel? She doesn’t mind really, it means no one asks her questions… but she’s already attached to the Decker and Samurai, and it won’t be long till she gets glued to the elf. She doesn’t even know what he is, a magician? He uses magic and that’s AWESOME! Mahk could be fun to talk with if he wasn’t so shy but she can relate to that. Being social is hard. And Matuna is fun to tease, what with his anti AR and all. She knows there’s a reason and she doesn’t care to know, because that requires give and take. Who’s to say he can’t -wouldn’t- ask her to tell him why she can’t say a basic sentence when next to a car? Just leaving before anyone gets the idea to be social with you and hiding in your safe house isn’t how you make friends, Haze…

Maybe she could run _farther_. Pack up the warehouse, buy a truck, and never look back. Mahk and Matuna won’t miss her, they don’t know her, and Kor REALLY doesn’t know her and won’t even remember she was here. None of them know where she lives and none of them will notice. And if they do they can always find another rigger- any chummer with the money for the cyberware and at least one drone can be a rigger…

…They just won’t be a **good** rigger. The girl whimpers and rolls over, back to the wall connected to another empty (and tempting to also claim) warehouse. She can’t see it, but the pile of scrap that will one day be Ch3st3r stares at her though the plywood. Traveling with that monster will be hard. She could easily find and drive a truck big enough to carry it and the other drones but it will be easier if he is finished. At the very least she could at least get him to pull the truck if it ever breaks down. Wouldn’t take much, just some strong rope like the good old days of horse and buggy. Yeah. She could run away. Go… she doesn’t know, north? She can handle the cold in Alaska. She could also head east towards Detroit. With her skills Ares Macrotechnology could get her a job. Maybe an *actual* job.

“Hahaha!” she laughs into her pillow. “That’s cute Haze.” Yeah, like that’ll ever happen.

Part of her mind wanders to that mafia guy and the street doctor. The first gets her paranoia cursing at her while the second only causes it to shrug. Guy wasn’t so bad, but the mafia likes her. Haze still isn’t sure _why_ or _if_ that’s a good thing, but the guy is pretty loyal.

But he’ll ask questions too. So will the doctor. Haze flips herself to have her back to the world as she kicks the covers about, eventually creating a human burrito with the blankets and a pillow she hugs.

“What am I gonna do?” she glares off into the distance and decides to sleep on it.

When she wakes up Haze decides to buy a new outfit. Just in case.


End file.
